What is this I have become?
Just a scared child who has run,
From the truth because freedom is frightening, it is
Easier to wallow in the mire than to learn something new.
What to do with hands that used to be bound?
Skin that has grown around shackles mourns when they go,
And so I continue returning to the evil I know.
The topic of conversation the other night revolved around what to do when people who have been set free continue to dredge up issues that the Lord has already delivered us from. We all do it. I do it almost everyday, over issues I know I have supposedly given to the Lord. Why is it that some issues are so easily forgotten, and then some, ones we have been 'delivered' from long ago stick around and have to be dealt with time and time again? I know, although I don't like to admit it, that the pain is comforting. In a weird, self-deprecating way I enjoy having the excuse, because I'm the only person in the whole entire world who has ever had issues. Right.
We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. - C.S. Lewis